The Two Most Annoying Things in The Phantom Menace are the Two Most Important Parts of the Story
Ugh. This guy again…
Quick! What are two things everyone hated almost immediately about The Phantom Menace?
When I first saw The Phantom Menace at the tender age of 28, I was already clearly too old to actively complain about a space wizard movie, but I think we all know I went ahead and did it anyway. The two things my friends and I (and probably your friends and you) complained about the most were the focus on boring political nonsense like the taxation of trade routes and the Great Genre Punching Bag himself, Jar Jar Binks.
We wanted spaceships and rayguns and cool Jedi stuff, not politics and cheesy comic relief. Never mind that we got spaceships, rayguns, and the coolest Jedi stuff we’d seen to date within the first ten minutes of the movie, we still didn’t want all this other dumb crap.
Was it dumb crap, though? Or was it the entire point of the movie?
“There is some question of procedure, but I am confident we can overcome it”
One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that we have become increasingly bad at nuance. We like clear-cut heroes and villains with black and white motivations of good vs evil. It could be argued that entertainment like Star Wars has programmed us to think that way, but that’s the topic of another post.
We prefer our evil to be obvious and exciting, draped in black and force-choking the galaxy at the end of a blood red lightsaber. We like our good to be valiant and attractive, dispensing laser beams and wisecracks in equal measure while punching out the obvious and exciting evil.
What we don’t want are heroes and villains that are barely distinguishable from one another just standing around in a great big room talking everything to death.
Unfortunately, the people talking at each other in the big room are the ones best positioned to stop evil before it turns into a deadly cyborg laser swording and death starring across the universe. The reason this is so unfortunate is because the people in the big room (in this case, the Galactic Senate) are just as bored of the trade route taxation debate as the audience.
Palpatine knows the Senate has grown bored of doing its actual job, so while everyone is distracted by the pew pew explodey space magic, he calmly and brazenly steals the government. If the various Senators had spent so much as a day looking into the issue and said “hey, this is actually criminal, let’s shut it down”, the Trade Federation would have been slapped, Finis Valorum would have remained Chancellor, and the Great Sith Plot would have died before it even got off the ground.
But Palpatine knew they wouldn’t. He knew politicians would much rather look like they’re doing something than go through the hassle of doing something, so he gave them the opportunity to make a symbolic gesture by electing the Senator from Naboo, that poor little world enduring the trade blockade, as Chancellor.
There. That should make the people of Naboo happy, even if there is a big blockade around their… what? Some kid blew up an orbiting spaceship or whatever and now it’s all over? Great! Problem solved! What’s for lunch? Also, do you have a holo of that space battle? That sounds awesome!
Evil thrives in the boring details, Lucas is saying, and if we wait until evil is exciting to do something about it, we’re always going to fight the same battles; and this is because we’ll never do the slow, boring work of tearing evil out by its roots before it has the chance to grow.
“If only… Senator Amidala were here.”
And now we come to Jar Jar, the galaxy’s least favorite idiot. I chose the image above for a reason, because without that frog in Jar Jar’s mouth, and the hell that breaks loose when he lets go of it, the galaxy turns out very differently.
In that scene, Qui-Gon is hustling the group back to the ship. He’s not interested in anyone or anything other than getting the parts they need. He’s met Anakin at this point, but the kid is not on his radar. If Jar Jar doesn’t fart around with the frog and piss off Sebulba, the group won’t be there when Anakin arrives.
On the one hand, this means Anakin goes home, has a normal evening, and lives the next few years as a slave, until he and his mom are freed by Cliegg Lars and join his loving family on their moisture farm. On the other hand, Qui-Gon, Jar Jar, and Padme probably all die in the sandstorm.
Palpatine would likely spin Padme’s death into the Chancellorship, meaning he could still start the Clone Wars, and still manage to kill all the Jedi. That said, there’s also no Darth Vader, no Leia Organa, and no Luke Skywalker.
In addition, there will be no senatorial career for Padme Amidala, so she doesn’t become an inspiration for the Rebel Alliance. Without Padme’s example, the leadership of her daughter, and the gifts of her son, the Rebel Alliance could fail, or perhaps not even form at all beyond isolated and disconnected cells. In this scenario, the Empire could endure forever, or at least a lot longer than a single generation.
Also, Darth Maul would have kept his legs, so that’s nice for him.
In Attack of the Clones, Jar Jar is also responsible for a very important part of Palpatine’s plan, which is what the quote in this section’s header is referring to.
When Padme is forced to go into hiding, she specifically tells Jar Jar to fight on her behalf against the creation of the army. She wants a peaceful solution to the Separatist crisis, but she doesn’t really stress the big picture to Jar Jar. That’s unfortunate, because as soon as she’s gone, Palpatine stops talking about an army, suddenly forlorn over the democratic restrictions on his power that prevent him from taking action to end this conflict.
The average Senator is far too savvy to commit political suicide by being the one to propose giving Palpatine sweeping emergency powers, but they’re all happy to throw their weight behind the schmuck who does. With Padme cut off from the Senate, and anyone who cares about Jar Jar even the tiniest bit lightyears away from Coruscant, our hapless Gungan representative is easy prey for the Chancellor’s majordomo.
Granted, by this point, things were happening that would likely have gotten Palpatine what he wanted, more or less. Without emergency powers, he wouldn’t have been able to authorize the clone army that already existed, but if he didn’t, the Jedi would have died on Geonosis, or, at the very least, been held hostage. He could have used that to his advantage as well, but it also would have generated sympathy for the Jedi which would have run counter to his plans. So, yes, while he could have made his play without Jar Jar, there was still a whole lot of his plan up in the air at that point, which a clear grant of emergency powers settled right down.
Therefore, while we can still find plenty to complain about with regard to The Phantom Menace, we probably shouldn’t complain as much about Jar Jar and all the politics. They deliver one of George Lucas’ most important lessons: that great historical events often turn, not on the heroic deeds of valiant warriors or the movements of powerful armies, but on the clever manipulation of boring political nonsense and the misguided actions of a well-meaning idiot.
This all being said, if it takes the average audience member two decades to figure out the nuances of your space wizard movie, maybe you were a little too clever for your own good, George.
